The First Lady
by fiddletune
Summary: Alicia Florrick is the First Lady of the United States. As Peter's sex scandal threatens her own position and makes her existence a living hell, she gets a new bodyguard named Kalinda Sharma. The Good Wife AU, Kalicia all the way.
1. Chapter 1

At long last, Alicia Florrick had made it to the top. After so many years of sacrifices and dedication to her husband's political career, here she was – the First Lady of the United States. Like Eleanor Roosevelt and Hillary Clinton, she could make a difference. And yet, two years into Peter's first term, in the luxury of the huge White House, she had never felt more like a prisoner.

 _White House Interngate – Monicagate redux?_ _Did President Sleep with White House Intern? Read full story. Exclusive revelations inside!_ The headlines kept popping into Alicia's mind uninvited, along with pictures of the perky twenty-something whose allegations had brought all the reporters in the country and beyond to the President's doorstep in Washington. There were no compromising pictures of Peter with the young woman though – no proof – it was the President's word against hers. But just a few weeks before mid-term elections, the scandal had exploded and reached the President's inner circle like a shock wave. The media frenzy was terrifying. _Did First Lady Know? Should she file for divorce?_ Two really good questions indeed.

 _Did_ Alicia know? It had never registered in her conscious mind, but now that this story was all out, she realized that on some subconscious level, she knew. Peter and she had been in love once in Georgetown, and then been tender and caring spouses. But the higher they rose as a power couple, the more they drifted apart, as if the constant need of maintaining a perfect public image had snuffed any real desire remaining between them after twenty-five years of marriage. Alicia supported Peter, stood in his shadow, helped him write his speeches, advocated bold social policies like her illustrious democratic eldest, but didn't sleep with her husband anymore, and didn't really care.

At fifty, Alicia was hardly ever considering having a sex life again – she was too busy with protocol, and official visits, and charities, and the general lack of privacy in her life under the constant scrutiny of the public eye. As for Peter… Surely, there had to be some other women. She didn't even _want_ to know. But of course, these things couldn't stay hidden forever. How could Peter have been so careless, after working so hard to get where he was? And had he really slept with that intern, barely as old as their own daughter Grace?

Alicia felt like throwing up. _Should_ she file for divorce? All the feminists in the country and beyond were clamouring that a woman with any self-respect should pack her things and leave now. Well, technically she had been sleeping in her own bedroom for years, so there was that. And how could any of these outraged feminists ever have any idea of what she had given up to get to this point? _Fuck them_ , Alicia thought. _Fuck Peter and his whores_. _I won't be sent back to square one at this point in my life by mere rumors_.

Meanwhile, it was the mid-term election campaign and the GOP candidates were having the time of their lives. Peter would never be able to pass the slightest reform for the next two years if he was to lose his majority in Congress. And Alicia would never be able to show her face in public again if Peter didn't clear his name first. Unless she embraced the role of the outraged wife and filed for divorce?

So far, Alicia was bearing the brunt of humiliation in the media, doing her best to offer a stern but untroubled (if silent) face to the cameras and mics waiting to devour her as soon as she appeared in public. She was trying to make hers the British royal motto "never complain, never explain" – but of course this was America. People loved to blame their President's alleged lack of morals almost as much as they loved to analyze it at length – every single TV or radio show, newspaper or magazine issue had experts commenting on the President's sex life, possible lies, and now questionable ability to rule the most powerful country in the Western world. Was such a man to be trusted ever again?

 _Another good question_ , Alicia thought. Peter denied everything, but in spite of the lack of conclusive evidence, he had failed so far to convince his own wife that he was not guilty. Alicia was not positive about _that_ girl – she hoped he hadn't sunk so low – but she had little doubt there _were_ others. She was mad at him all right – for getting caught and now threatening _her_ end of their political partnership.

With the White House under a media siege, Peter had hired Eli Gold, an emergency crisis manager, to perform the best damage control money and influence could buy. Nobody in the President's inner circle could as much as breathe without being pre-approved by Gold. The White House junior staff members were under review for possible liabilities, and the secret services had thought it best to renew the presidential family's security detail.

Alicia didn't care much for her former bodyguard Mike. He was a big, broad-shouldered, all but mute man in a black suit with an earpiece, who did his best to melt into the setting in spite of being quite massive and practically not letting her go to the bathroom on her own – just doing his job. Two years into the Presidency, and Alicia still knew nothing about Mike. Although she was kind of used to always having his broad silhouette around, it was unlikely she would miss him. But she didn't like unnecessary changes – it was a tiring life, constantly having to adapt to new places, new people, new crises. She vaguely expected some clone of the previous bodyguard to become her new shadow. Not that she really cared.

As it turned out, Alicia was only right about the "all but mute" part. The security agent who walked into the Yellow Oval Room to meet her was a strikingly attractive, rather short Indian woman. Except for her carefully inexpressive face, she was nothing like Alicia expected. Her name was Kalinda Sharma.

* * *

Author's note: _English is not my native language, sorry if there are some mistakes left! Hopefully nothing that will keep you from enjoying my take on what_ Kalinda _truly deserved! I miss you K.  
_


	2. Chapter 2

Alicia braced herself before leaving her private rooms. She had an appointment with Gold to be prepped for an upcoming press conference. At the door was standing her new bodyguard Kalinda Sharma, who fell into step behind her without a word, but not without casting a distinctly scornful look at the newspapers that Alicia was holding. The White House scandal was all over the front page. _Great_ , Alicia thought. _Even my bodyguard despises me for not leaving my husband_.

Kalinda Sharma was the strangest choice of a bodyguard, Alicia mused, keeping her mind off her misery for a few moments. For one thing, she was a good three inches shorter than Alicia, which was not really reassuring. She looked tough and strong enough in her black suits and neat up-dos, but how could she possibly run and fight with those stiletto boots? And in spite of barely wearing any make-up, Kalinda was as inconspicuous as a paradise bird in Washington with her huge liquid dark eyes, caramel skin, curvy body and full lips. She was terribly attractive. _At least_ that _I would understand_ , Alicia thought, imagining Peter being attracted to Kalinda. _That_ , however hypothetical, made some kind of sense.

But the strangest thing of all about her new bodyguard was that sometimes Alicia could distinctly feel her hostility. She didn't know what grudge the younger woman was holding against her, but it was not that reassuring either from someone who was supposed to protect her with her life if it came to it.

Today was one of those days when Alicia could tell that Kalinda's utter contempt was specifically targeted towards _her_. "What?" she couldn't help asking sharply. Kalinda seemed to hesitate. "Nothing Ma'am," she replied politely, her face now carefully blank again. Alicia felt a pang of despair. She didn't have any real friends anymore. Was she bound to be surrounded by nothing but enemies?

As a First Lady, Alicia was now used to being scrutinized, recorded, photographed, and every last detail of her outfit commented on in every media on the planet. But Peter's college girl had turned their lives into a bad reality show, and the public was eager to watch the First Lady crumble under pressure and to feast on her humiliation, righteous rage or whatever private feelings she had no desire to let out for everyone to see. She couldn't take one step outside the White House without dozens of paparazzi tracking her each and every move, harassing her with questions, waiting for her slightest slip to close in on her and crucify her across their front pages.

Thank god the kids were abroad, Grace on a humanitarian mission in Africa, and Zach working for an Asian tech company in Hong Kong. At least, they were sheltered from most of that sordid racket. But here she was, alone, and not a soul to really talk to. Owen, maybe? Her brother was currently teaching in California though. With the time difference, a phone call would have to wait. Alicia was practically a prisoner inside the White House and the loneliness, almost as much as the media pressure, was beginning to get the better of her.

The headlines were not good for Peter, the opinion polls at a record low, and Gold was pestering her to take a public stand and support her husband. Alicia thought about Hillary Clinton, sitting next to Bill on the "60 Minutes" set during Monicagate

and professing her love and respect for her husband. However determined to stay right where she was, Alicia wasn't sure she could do the same and still be able to live with herself afterwards. _Isn't it enough of a stand not to leave Peter and file for divorce?_ she thought. But it wasn't.

So Alicia did her duty. Like a good wife, she stood by Peter. For better or for worse, right? Well, what could be worse? She had to face the world and tell the media she believed in Peter. She told them he was a good and reliable man, a devoted husband and father, and that as President he would never betray the confidence placed in him by the people of America. Caught in the moment, she even believed in every word herself. Peter _was_ a good man and a good leader after all.

She ignored the cheating issue entirely. Not that the press intended to let her get away with it, of course. Reporters started grilling her on the topic, leaving her no options but to tackle it. She wanted to remain in power. She had _earned_ this position and she intended to keep it at any price. As it turned out, she _could_ pretend that her husband was falsely accused and that she was here to support him after all. Whatever the people needed to hear so they would keep their faith in him as President.

And then some journalist quoted a line from the intern, and Alicia knew for sure. The girl was telling the truth. Peter had slept with her. Alicia was lying to the American people to save her lying, cheating and philandering husband's neck – and her own. She was no better than him. She mustered all the dignity she could to make it to the end of the press conference without falling apart. But on her way out of the White House briefing room, the toll suddenly seemed pretty high on her personal ethics, and she all but collapsed.

At once she felt her bodyguard's firm grip on her. A whiff of Kalinda's spicy perfume floated up to her as she grabbed the smaller woman's shoulder for support. Kalinda was three inches shorter than her, yet she didn't budge under her weight. She put one arm round Alicia's waist and helped her get to the nearest seat. Alicia thought she could read a hint of concern in Kalinda's dark eyes. How pathetic was she to raise concern in a secret services agent who didn't even _like_ her? Right now, she loathed herself for what she had just done.

Alicia was feeling sick, but Kalinda managed to bring her swiftly back to her private quarters, carefully avoiding the most frequented halls so as not to be spotted by anyone who might report anything alarming about the First Lady's health. The bodyguard usually checked the First Lady's rooms for intruders then quickly stepped outside to watch the door and screen visitors. This time, after seating Alicia on the sofa, Kalinda fetched a glass and poured a generous amount of whisky in it. She handed it to Alicia, who drank it bottoms up like a child ordered to take her medicine.

"You know what I don't get," Kalinda said, looking at her with something new burning fiercely in her dark eyes, "Why you stood by him. I would've stuck a knife in his heart."

Alicia, caught in the middle of her own inner turmoil by that unusual outpouring, stared at her bodyguard, surprised. Had she just overstepped? Surely she hadn't meant to meddle? Or could it be that she was genuinely interested in what Alicia had to say?

Kalinda was about to leave the room. She turned around and cast a silent questioning look on her. Alicia couldn't stand the thought of being left alone with her own thoughts, but the humiliation of realizing how obvious her distress was to Kalinda got the better of her. Overwhelmed by a hot wave of rage, she glared at her bodyguard. "Thank you, Kalinda," she said icily. Kalinda gave her a knowing look and went out without another word. Finally free to fall apart, Alicia burst into tears.


	3. Chapter 3

Alicia cried herself to sleep and woke up the next day with puffy eyes but a clearer mind. She had crossed a line, and what she had been able to do for Peter's career disgusted her. But for better or for worse it was done – and it had probably saved both their necks. Now she had to move on and find a way to live with herself without being sucked any further into the grey area where ambitious and powerful people find justification for the loss of their moral compass. She vowed to herself that if Peter's self-indulging ever jeopardized his career again she would be out of their marriage faster than he could say "sorry". She would leave him for the whole world to see and pursue a career of her own. But she couldn't see the point in doing so now.

It was unfair. Unlike her, Peter was getting out of this midlife crisis mess of his basically unharmed. The double standard applying to men and women's behaviours was harsher on her, and _she_ had done nothing wrong in the first place… For a few moments, she let her thoughts drift toward Will, her college sweetheart from the time before she met Peter. Will had never really gotten over her. Now a Congressman for the State of Illinois, he kept flirting with her whenever they met on official occasions. She could tell he still wanted her – he was still single after all these years. She remembered how intense things were between them – but they were so young then. What would it be like now? She hadn't felt really wanted for so long.

Her train of thoughts was now leading her to Kalinda. Her bodyguard was probably on duty right now, just outside her door, staring down unwelcome guests in spite of her small stature like Alicia had seen her do a couple of times. "I would have stuck a knife in his heart," she had said. Was she married too? She probably was, being a thirty-something and impossibly pretty even in her stern uniform. Alicia considered the fact that the young woman, who always looked so impassive, was passionate enough to say such a thing. She had no doubt that behind all that restraint, Kalinda _was_ a very passionate person. She would probably not tolerate half of what Alicia was putting up with right now. What if she was right? Alicia put that embarrassing question on hold, and wondered how to face her bodyguard after what had happened the day before, part of her being grateful to Kalinda for the support, and part of her irrationally mad at her for witnessing her collapse. The last thing she wanted was her _pity_.

Kalinda was her usual self though, neatly dressed, mostly silent, and efficient to kick the occasional troublemaker out of Alicia's way in no time with minimum fuss, as if nothing had happened. And maybe to her, nothing had? Just another day at the White House. As a First Lady, Alicia made a rule of always being polite to anyone around her – being charming was part of the job description. Yet she had ways of being a total pain if she wanted to. Projecting her dissatisfaction, she couldn't help being horrible to Kalinda. To her growing frustration, her bodyguard not only didn't seem upset in the least, but started to show signs of amusement. _Not sure if this is better than pity_ , Alicia thought, disgruntled. No matter how hard she tried, Kalinda was incredibly good at deflecting her jibes. All right, that woman _was_ tough.

When Alicia walked out of her last meeting with Eli Gold, Kalinda, keeping watch in the hallway as usual, was chatting with a cute blond man. Alicia recognized Cary Agos, a young lawyer working for Peter as a junior human rights counsellor. He was obviously flirting, all dimples and irresistible boyish smile, and Kalinda gazed at him as if he were a kid, with a mixture of amusement and exasperation. "Cary," Alicia overheard her saying, "you and I have nothing in common, because you and I are from different worlds. And it's not just Mars and Venus. It's spaghetti and hydrogen. We're different categories."

Alicia, walking up to Kalinda, did her best to keep a straight face. "Hi Cary," she said breezily, "How are you?" Flustered, Cary blushed, greeted her over-enthusiastically and all but ran away.

"I guess you haven't told him about that husband of yours, have you?" Alicia ventured, her mood definitely improving at the sight of Cary's sheepish flight.

"I haven't told you either," Kalinda pointed out sweetly. Alicia didn't challenge Kalinda to do so – maybe someday – but for now, she just laughed at her boldness. She couldn't deny it was refreshing. Everyone was always tiptoeing around her, telling her only what they thought she wanted to hear. It was hard to have fun conversations now.

"Don't you think Cary is cute?" Alicia teased.

"Yeah, like a ten year-old," Kalinda answered, raising an eyebrow. "I'm so out of his league. He'd better get that before I have to kick his ass."

"You wouldn't do that!" Alicia laughed. "The poor boy is a human rights advocate!"

"Well, it's my right to ignore him," Kalinda pointed out with a half-smile. "Shall we go?"

On her way to her next meeting, Alicia had little doubt about what was happening – she was beginning to _like_ Kalinda.

Over the next few weeks, she realized that her First Lady mask kept slipping more and more when she was with Kalinda. Her bodyguard's humour and detachment helped put things into perspective, and she seemed to read through Alicia effortlessly, so there was no point in pretending. _This is strange,_ Alicia thought, as mutual fondness seemed to grow between them. Unlikely as the connection was, it felt good not to be alone – she had almost forgotten how great.

Alicia stopped being obnoxious around Kalinda – she was just too good at not caring and made her feel silly for even trying. But Kalinda's silent hostility was gone too, replaced with a quiet thoughtfulness. Kalinda supported her through unpleasant times with a few words, a note slipped in her hand before she stepped to the lectern, or just with a confident look. If Alicia had a whole team of assistants to help her manage her daily schedule and remind her of things, Kalinda was becoming something else altogether – a real support she was starting to rely on without even thinking. Something like a friend. Yet Alicia barely knew Kalinda, who never talked about her own life and following protocol, still called her "Ma'am".

"Kalinda," Alicia said one day, " _Please_ , call me Alicia!"


	4. Chapter 4

There was a lot of damage control to do in order to save the mid-term election. Too much of it involved Alicia being a good wife and frequently appearing, smiling lovingly, by her husband's side. She had been doing this for so long that she could play that part in her sleep, but lately the constant nagging from all sides – the media, the public, the Republicans, the feminist lobbies, her mother, you name it – required nerves of steel not to let any of her real feelings filter through. She hated every minute of that exhausting, never-ending show.

"God," Alicia said, kicking off her heels as soon as she sat in the car, "I wish I could just walk into a bar and have a drink like a normal person."

"Hm," frowned Kalinda, sitting next to her. "No can do, but…" She considered Alicia with a wistful look.

"But what?" Alicia asked impatiently.

"I might have an idea," Kalinda replied, smiling lightly.

"OK, show me what you've got," Alicia sighed.

She slumped into the back seat. Long day. The now familiar smell of Kalinda's spicy perfume made her feel safe. God only knew what Kalinda had in mind, but she trusted her.

"Oh-kay, this is mysterious," Alicia said, following Kalinda inside a dark empty room. Kalinda turned the lights on, closed the door and pocketed the key. It was a bar alright – an empty one. Alicia looked around – they were in a basement room, barely offering a dozen seats. The decoration was quite unique – on the walls were hanging what appeared to be shooting targets full of bullet holes. There was also some kind of a score board, featuring a ranking list whose number one, "Kali", sounded suspiciously familiar.

"I know it's not as fun as the real thing," Kalinda said, gesturing Alicia to the counter stools and slipping behind it, "but it's the closest you'll get. This is where the members of my shooting range meet sometimes. The place belongs to one of them. You can have a few drinks and not worry about ending up in tomorrow's news. No windows, see? No journalists and no pictures."

Kalinda obviously knew her way around the place. There was a vintage jukebox in a corner, and she slid a token in it to play some music. Back behind the counter, she put two shot glasses on it, then a bottle of tequila. She deftly coated the edge of the glasses with salt and sliced a lime, then filled the two glasses to the brim.

"You know how this works, right?" she said. "Sorry I can't drink with you – still on duty. But don't mind me, it's your night off!"

"Oh," said Alicia, frowning. How could she not have thought about that? Of course Kalinda had to stay sober if she wanted to make sure she could protect her. So she would have to drink alone. But she _had_ asked for this, and the opportunity was too good to be wasted. She made up her mind.

"All right," she said. "Since we're here, let's do this!"

"Cheers," Kalinda said, raising her shot. Alicia picked her glass up, downed the drink and bit into the slice of lime like she had seen people do. Then she made a face. The strong alcohol burned and tingled all the way down. Had she ever drunk tequila before? She thought not. She was more of a red wine person, having to sit through so many endless formal dinners and remain reasonably sober all the while. She would be drunk in no time if she had much more of that tequila. "Good," Kalinda said cheerfully as if reading her mind. She pushed her own untouched drink towards her. "Have another."

A few shots later, Alicia was beginning to find life much more amusing. Kalinda was not very chatty, but she had a real sense of humour, and she was a great listener. And God, did Alicia need to talk. In fact, she was doing most of the talking, and Kalinda all of the listening, highlighting all the right points and asking all the right questions. Alicia was having a great time. Now they were talking about men. After all, Kalinda was married too, right? …Right?

"One night, no repercussions," Kalinda was saying. Yeah, because it was so easy for the First Lady to have an inconspicuous love affair with a State Senator.

"That's just not me, Kalinda," Alicia confessed with a hint of regret.

"Everything you want to be you _is_ you," Kalinda stated, gazing at her intently. She wanted Alicia to believe that. She wanted Alicia to believe that she could free herself and do whatever she wanted. But was it still possible? Alicia doubted she could escape the fatal combination of a power position and worldwide media attention. Yet here she was tonight, in a basement she had no idea where exactly, alone with her bodyguard. Anything could happen and nobody would ever know. It could have been creepy but she trusted Kalinda. She was actually having fun, and her tequila-laden thoughts led her to a very different conclusion.

"Are you gay?" she suddenly asked, not quite out of the blue. Cary Agos was far from being the only person trying to get Kalinda's attention. Certainly not the only man of course, but Alicia's mind had registered in spite of herself that a number of ladies seemed equally interested in the beautiful Indian woman. There was that FBI agent in particular, a perky young brunette who had an endless supply of urgent things to discuss one on one with Kalinda...

"I'm... private," Kalinda answered cautiously. She was reluctant to talk about herself, and once more had deflected the question. Hm, that didn't sound very much like a "no" though, right?

In a flash, Alicia saw herself kissing Kalinda – getting her revenge over Peter here and now. If he could misbehave and get away with it, why couldn't she? Why did _she_ always have to be beyond reproach? Alicia was already quite tipsy, and completely forgetting her old flame Will, never stopped to wonder why she was even thinking about cheating on Peter with a _woman_. Kalinda was hot, everybody wanted her – Peter would be so jealous. Suddenly, nothing seemed more urgent than evening the scores with him.

Kalinda was across the bar, still playing bartender and pouring her another tequila shot. Alicia, emboldened by the alcohol, leant across the counter and kissed her on the lips without warning. Kalinda, surprised, didn't react at once, letting Alicia kiss her. A quiver ran through her, spreading through Alicia as well, but Kalinda didn't kiss her back and soon pulled away. Alicia leant over some more, trying to kiss her again, but Kalinda, shaking her head, gently pushed her away.

"All right Alicia," she said softly, "I think you've had enough for tonight. Let's get you home."

"I thought you _liked_ me," Alicia pouted, a bit hurt by the rejection. She had never attempted to cheat on her husband before, but usually people lined up to make advances to her, and _she_ had to fend them off. It had never occurred to her that anyone could say no to the First Lady of the United States if she had her heart set on them. Shouldn't she take offense?

"This is beyond the point," Kalinda replied quietly, rinsing the glasses and putting the bottle of tequila away. "I could be fired for sleeping with you - not to mention the consequences for you. Come, we are leaving."


	5. Chapter 5

The next day, Kalinda was back to being her usual silent, good-humoured self, but Alicia decided that they needed to talk in order to clear the air between them.

"I'm sorry I kissed you Kalinda, it was uncalled for and won't happen again."

Kalinda smiled, unfazed. "It's OK Alicia, don't worry. I shouldn't have made you drink."

"I had a great time last night though," Alicia added sincerely.

"Yeah, me too."

"So I guess I'm not your type, huh?" Alicia asked half-jokingly.

"I don't have a type," Kalinda answered with a half-smile, "I just go with the flow."

"How come you're so damn hard to unsettle?" Alicia complained. "And I'm a lawyer!"

"I'm pretty sure that's what you like about me," Kalinda answered confidently.

Alicia rolled her eyes. Of course she liked that about her.

Except not being able to unsettle Kalinda was frustrating as hell. As things went back to normal, Alicia kept thinking about the fact that Kalinda had turned her down without seeming in the least affected by her (clumsy and admittedly drunken) attempt at seducing her. Here she was, as calm as ever around her, comfortable not talking, not embarrassed when they happened to brush, not afraid to meet her eyes, showing no signs whatsoever of intending to kiss Alicia back any time soon or _ever_. How could this be so _not_ a big deal to her?!

It was to Alicia. It was probably related to her damaged self-esteem. She had kissed Kalinda driven by tequila and revenge. But she had been rejected, and now she had to face the fact that Kalinda liked that cute bland FBI girl better than her. Of course Alicia now had a few lines on her face, and if her figure was still neat and slim, she couldn't help being fifty and not as glorious as she had once been... Was she too old to be attractive? Men didn't seem to think so. Or was it because she was the First Lady and they only pretended she was?

Alicia just couldn't move on. It was so easy to blame it all on the tequila and forget about that stupid kiss, exactly like Kalinda had done – why was she still thinking about it? Alicia had always thought she was as straight as they come. As any woman did, she looked at other women all the time – with fondness, admiration or jealousy mostly, but never with lust or any romantic feelings. She liked her men tall, broad-shouldered, their faces a bit raspy in the morning. Kalinda was not even remotely any of the above. She was strong, confident, and fiercely independent, but there was nothing androgynous at all about her curvy feminine body. So why did Alicia keep feeling something that could only be described by the word _jealousy_ whenever she spotted Cary or that damn Delaney girl or anyone else obviously going out of their way to flirt with Kalinda?

Anyway, whatever Alicia felt now didn't matter because it was too late. She had missed the one shot she had (if there ever was one) and wouldn't get another. She had promised Kalinda it wouldn't happen again and could really not afford another fiasco. After Peter's scandal, the last thing the White House needed was a lawsuit against Alicia for sexual harassment! If Kalinda was not interested, Alicia's perfect opportunity for revenge was down the drain, her frustration at having been turned down would have to be addressed some other way, and there was nothing she could do about it. Besides, right now Kalinda was very close to being the only true friend she had – she couldn't afford to lose her either.


	6. Chapter 6

"That's a death threat, Ma'am," the head of security reminded Alicia. "I would advise you to postpone all public outings until further notice."

Alicia didn't underestimate the head of security's advice, but there was no way she was going to let some crazy Christian extremists scare her away from her public duties. So a bunch of lunatics pretended she was the devil's wife for allowing debauchery under her roof and had to die in order to atone? Please. Like the media needed the extra nudge.

"Not a word to the press," she said. "I'm going. I'm expected. I know you'll do your best to make sure nothing… unpleasant happens."

Alicia was good at understatements. She had no intention of running for cover because of some crazy hate mail, but she did hope nothing would happen though. Should she take the threat more seriously? She had work to do. Right now, she had an appointment with representatives of various associations in order to push forward the one bill she really wanted secured before the end of her husband's term, the Dream Act - the very one President Obama couldn't get past Congress in eight years. Obama had issued an executive order to stop deporting the "dreamers" – mostly undocumented minors illegally brought very young to the US by their relatives and who had no other country they could call home - but the executive order would hold only as long as the White House tenant was a Democrat. Peter was in no hurry to pick up that hot potato, but Alicia was committed to putting it back on the table while there was still time.

"Hm," the head of security said, looking as upset as a military officer would allow himself to. "We'll reinforce the security checks and detail, Ma'am. You'll have personnel with you day and night."

"Make sure Kalinda Sharma is part of it," Alicia demanded. She felt better when Kalinda was around, however unsettling her presence could also be sometimes, for reasons she kept buried as deeply as possible within herself.

"Glad you approve of her, Ma'am," the head of security said, positively beaming. "I recruited her myself. You're in good hands."

* * *

So far so good. No crazy extremist attack yet. The hotel suite looked fine (if way too big for one person) and Alicia's security detail was to keep nonstop watch on her floor. The day had been a long one between the flight, meetings, and the ubiquitous media following her every step, recording her every word and face expression. Having to act all day like she was the happiest woman on earth was exhausting, and she was not in the mood for more pretending tonight. She decided to take a shower and slip into more casual clothes before ordering in for dinner.

She was still in her hotel robe, with her hair wet and furiously curling – what it did unless she forcibly straightened it – when room service knocked at the door. Interrupting her hair-towelling, Alicia let the waiter in with his food cart. She asked the man to put the dishes on the table and turned to grab a tip for him in her purse. Then she raised her eyes and froze. The man was holding a gun.

"Repent for your sins," he said quietly, pointing his gun at her.

Alicia had no time to think. She screamed and threw herself headlong behind the king-sized bed. The gun didn't have a silencer, and the shot rang loudly in her ears. She crawled under the bed, confusedly hoping to reach the door before the assassin could reach her.

The door slammed open. There was a quick shuffle with a lot of yelling, and the next thing Alicia knew, a man from her security crew was helping her up while Kalinda sat squarely on the waiter's back, pinning him down and wringing his handcuffed arms just painfully enough to keep him from struggling. Alicia's security team had taken the man down without another shot.

"Others will come for you," the assassin growled, unabated. Kalinda shoved his face into the luxurious carpeting to shut him up.


	7. Chapter 7

It was two in the morning, and Alicia hadn't got a chance to sleep yet. An assassination attempt was a lot to deal with – and between her witness statement, her team's efforts to keep the news from filtering out, and her relocation to a different hotel in the middle of the night, she hadn't even reached the psychological part.

"Please gentlemen," Alicia said, on the verge of turning in her new hotel room for what was left of the night, "Could one of you stay _inside_ my room tonight? You know... Just in case." The guys looked at each other then all eyes converged on Kalinda, who was the only woman. "Sure," Kalinda said. "I'll stay."

The hotel room was smaller than the suite Alicia had almost been shot in a few hours ago, but somehow it was reassuring – not as many places for a killer to hide. Nobody except her staff and the police knew where she was sleeping tonight, and she was probably safe for the time being anyway.

It was strange having Kalinda _inside_ her room for once. Embarrassed, Alicia retreated to the bathroom to put her pyjamas on, then added a robe for good measure. She stared at her reflection in the mirror – with all the fuss, she hadn't been able to straighten her hair, which had dried tied in a hasty ponytail and was now as curly as it would be. She would have to deal with it in the morning. For now, she just tied it again at the top of her head pineapple-style so it would be out of the way during the night.

When she came out of the bathroom, Kalinda was sitting in an armchair she had placed right in front of the door, a few feet away from it, so that she could spend the night watching it like a hawk. She had a gun close at hand. Alicia thought she probably had other less visible weapons at the ready as well. She hesitated before climbing into bed. What was she supposed to do? Switch all the lights off and leave Kalinda in the dark? She couldn't sleep with the lights on, and Kalinda would be more likely to fall asleep in the dark. But Alicia doubted she could sleep at all tonight to begin with. She sat on the bed without opening it and crossed her legs.

"Thank you," she told Kalinda, who turned to meet her eyes and registered a second of surprise at her hairstyle. "What for?" her bodyguard asked with a minute smile.

"For neutralizing that man so quickly, and for keeping me safe tonight," Alicia answered.

"Yeah, they should have searched him first. Sorry about that. I don't know what the guys were thinking. You did good Alicia, you saved yourself. Try to sleep a little now."

"I don't think I can," Alicia confessed. "I'm too upset. I keep thinking how close it was tonight. One split second and I was dead. If he hadn't spoken before shooting… If he had just shot me in the back…"

"It's OK to be rattled," Kalinda said. "That was a close call. Nobody can stare their own death in the face and remain impassive. But I'll do everything I can to make sure those nut jobs can never get to you again."

Alicia believed her. She knew that Kalinda would rather die than let another gunman threaten her. In that moment, she had an overwhelming urge to hug her and feel securely wrapped in her arms. But she didn't move.

Kalinda gazed back at the door. Alicia removed her robe and slipped quickly under the covers, leaving the lights on. Kalinda was quiet, focused on the task of watching over her. She was giving up a vibe of confidence and strength. Alicia fell asleep contemplating her.


	8. Chapter 8

Alicia was alone in the room with her murderer and only a split second away from meeting her end. So that was it. She had lived to that day, had two children who were now young, healthy, educated adults, safely away from here. She had struggled and done her best to rise above the pettiness of life, but for what? To end up being killed by some random fanatic? And for being Peter's wife? It was not fair. "I haven't done anything!" she cried desperately, falling on her knees. Shouldn't her death at least have some _meaning?_ Or was it poetic justice for the obvious lack of morals her recent life choices had shown?

Alicia started weeping, but the assassin's grin only broadened, and pulling the trigger, he yelled, "Repent and go to hell, sinner!" As tears rolled down her cheeks, she whimpered, "Please, please." But the bullet was already zeroing in on her chest in slow motion. It was going to hit her any time now. Yet strangely, the moment was not as bad as she thought, almost pleasant – there was a soft breeze caressing her face and drying the tears on her cheeks.

"Alicia? Alicia! You're OK now. You're safe."

Alicia opened her eyes. The room was dark, but she could tell at once that the person leaning over her was Kalinda, partly because of her perfume, partly because of her outline – both of which had become so familiar to her by now. Kalinda was stroking her face lightly, wiping her tears away and whispering reassuring words to her. Without thinking, Alicia still full of sleep sat up and hugged her to chase the nightmare away like a frightened child, burying her face into the younger woman's neck. Kalinda held her tight, gently stroking her back. It felt good to be hugged. Alicia hadn't really been for a long time, not with the kids abroad, and she craved the intimacy and comfort.

Alicia breathed in Kalinda's spicy perfume, and her racing heart leaped inside her chest instead of calming down. All of a sudden, the turmoil that washed over her was of a completely different nature. She became very aware of Kalinda's round breasts pressing against hers, of her warm, fragrant, silky skin against her cheek, of her supple body leaning into her embrace, of her small hands gently running up and down her back.

Since their night at the shooting range den, Kalinda had barely ever touched Alicia, and always in the most casual, briefest and most unambiguous way. Yet Alicia had been paying more and more attention to her in spite of herself. Among other things, she had been noticing Kalinda's small, slim, delicate hands. She had been wondering what they would feel like on her bare skin – what they were capable of. In that very moment, the thought of Kalinda's hands on her combined with the actual feeling of her caress were enough to make her head spin, her skin tingle, and her face blush like a school girl's. This was ridiculous because Kalinda never did anything to suggest that she was interested in her in that way – ridiculous, but oh so delicious. Surely Kalinda was just hugging her out of pity, but right now Alicia didn't care. She sighed contentedly, reluctant to let go of her. She wanted Kalinda to stay just where she was.

It seemed a foolish thing to ask though. Not even considering how... intimate this would be, how could Kalinda possibly do her job and protect her if Alicia was literally a dead weight in her arms? It was true Alicia didn't really think she had anything to fear from those fanatics at the very moment. Even if they could locate her, how dumb would they be to strike twice the same night, with half the police in the state now watching the hotel? Kalinda could sleep with her gun under her pillow or something, couldn't she? But she might get killed in the line of duty if she was caught off guard. Alicia sighed and released her regretfully.

"Don't you need to rest a little?" she offered tentatively, moving away and keeping her hands to herself. "This is a big bed, we can share. You can't stay up all night!"

"Yes I can," Kalinda replied confidently. "Don't worry, you're safe. I won't fall asleep."

 _Stay close to me, please_ , Alicia wanted to say. But she couldn't bring herself to voice her request. How could Kalinda not despise her for being so pathetically weak and clingy?

Not for the first time though, Kalinda seemed to read her mind. "I'm not going anywhere Alicia," she whispered. She gently pressed on Alicia's shoulders to make her lie back onto the bed. Alicia complied with another sigh. But Kalinda didn't go back to her armchair in front of the door. She took off her stiletto boots and climbed into bed next to Alicia. She settled herself comfortably, sitting against the headboard, and propped herself up with a few pillows. She put her gun on the nightstand, where she could easily reach it in a single move.

"Sleep now," she said, "I'm right here."


	9. Chapter 9

When Alicia woke up a few hours later, having carefully slept on her side of the bed, Kalinda hardly seemed to have moved at all, looking as alert and focused as she did the night before, if a bit crumpled. Her up-do didn't have a stray hair though - apparently she hadn't laid her head down for one minute. Alicia felt surprisingly refreshed after such a short night. Nothing seemed more natural than waking up next to Kalinda.

Kalinda smiled at her. "Good morning! Do you want me to order breakfast for you? I have to go, I need to freshen up before we leave." Alicia rolled onto her back and groaned, "I'm sorry I kept you up all night! Please go sleep now. You've done enough, we can manage without you today."

"I'm fine," Kalinda replied confidently. "And you're not leaving that room without me. Better safe than sorry! I'll get the day shift before I go." She got up and stretched like a cat, perfectly alert and seemingly full of coiled energy in spite of her sleepless night.

"Not that I personally mind," she said with a mischievous smile, zipping her boots back on, "I do love the curls. But maybe you should start getting ready? We have to leave the hotel soon." She was already about to get out of the room when Alicia called her back. "Kalinda, wait!" She turned around, watchful and obliging and terribly lovely.

Alicia hesitated. In her sleep, some part of her mind had been careful not to wander to Kalinda's side of the bed, in order to avoid awkward limb entanglements or other inappropriate touching. It would have been too embarrassing. _Embarrassingly good,_ the devil's voice whispered mockingly to her. _So good you might have wanted more._ Last night, Kalinda had stroked her cheeks to wipe her tears and held Alicia in her arms, igniting a fire that now refused to be put out. But last night was dark and scary, and now in broad daylight Alicia felt more ridiculous than ever to even think about this. Kalinda had proved she did care for her, not just because she was the First Lady – she just didn't care like _that_. And why would she?

"Yes, Alicia?"

Alicia chose to ignore the fire kindled by Kalinda's very presence. She was good at pretending, wasn't she? She would say or do nothing more to embarrass Kalinda further. She wouldn't even give this unfortunate attraction one more thought. Was it regret she was pretending not to feel?

"Thanks again, Kalinda. I won't forget what you did," Alicia said, instinctively using her First Lady voice.

"Just doing my job _Ma'am_ ," Kalinda said with a half-smile, picking up on the change of tone. "The day shift will be here any minute. I should go."

"Of course," Alicia nodded stiffly, "Go get some rest now!"

Alicia watched Kalinda leave the hotel room and sat on the edge of the bed, reluctant to get up. She was pathetic. A middle-aged woman who wouldn't divorce her cheating husband, and who was absolutely _not_ attracted to her bodyguard, a young, strong, beautiful, self-reliant – woman.


	10. Chapter 10

In the car driving her to her morning meeting, Alicia, back into her First Lady character, with perfectly straightened hair and a strict but brightly-colored suit, couldn't help gazing at Kalinda, who sleepless night or not was already back at her post next to her as she had promised. Kalinda's eyes were hidden behind a huge pair of sunglasses which made her look fiercer than ever – someone you didn't want to mess with.

Alicia was attracted to her all right, she couldn't deny it. _What if I kissed her now?_ Alicia thought. _Would she turn me down again?_ It was so easy and yet so unthinkable. But she didn't move, because of course there were a million excellent reasons why this was probably a terrible idea. The real motive had obviously nothing to do with being attracted to another woman for the first time in her life, feeling very insecure about this, and on top of that, so selfish in her lust for someone who was showing no signs of sharing her attraction. Why dig her own grave and lose Kalinda's friendship in the process?

The car door barely open, the camera flashes reminded Alicia of her cruel lack of privacy. She was a public figure, each and every aspect of her life constantly recorded, documented and broadcast for the whole world to see. How could she ever find again what she once had with Peter, now long lost? She mustered her most charming First Lady smile and faced the crowd, secretly reassured to sense Kalinda's presence right behind her. At least, what she had come to do here really mattered – she could make a difference for millions of people – and politics, well, _that_ she could handle.

The meeting was taking place in a conference hall. Around the block, a perimeter had been established that nobody could cross without an accreditation, and inside the building, a strict security check made sure that nobody came in without a full bag search, pat down and metal detector test. In the conference room, young Dreamers and members of civil rights associations came to raise awareness about their cases in front of the audience and the media. Alicia was mainly there to show her support. She didn't officially represent her husband, who was in no hurry to alienate part of the voters over such a controversial issue, but her presence would nonetheless send a signal to the most liberal voters.

Everything was going well, and Alicia was listening intently to the young people telling their stories – of being school valetudinarians and yet always at risk of being deported overnight to another country they hardly knew anything about; of not having a social security number nor any access to legal jobs; of life in a country built around cars where you couldn't get a driver's license... The young people who had accepted to expose themselves during this public event were really brave in their will to be recognized as American citizens in their own right. For now they were still protected by Obama's "Deferred Action" policy since Peter, a Democrat, hadn't called it off, but everything could change overnight with the next Republican who would be elected President.

Now all the main guests were gathered on stage to close the meeting by thanking the audience and letting the photographers take a few group pictures. Alicia was in the middle of the stage, a bouquet of flowers in her arms, loosely surrounded by half a dozen Dreamers and adult association members. And then – in fact she was not sure what happened exactly, except that she was abruptly pushed forward, fell flat on the stage, her face in the flower bouquet, and found herself pinned to the floor by the weight of another person lying on top of her. From the feeling of the firm, curvy body covering hers and the whiff of perfume she caught before getting her face shoved into the flowers, she had little doubt it was Kalinda. There was a lot of screaming, running and yelling everywhere, none of it really making sense to her. Alicia felt Kalinda's breath tickling her neck before she heard her bodyguard whisper in her ear, "Don't move until I tell you to get up, Alicia, OK? You're gonna be fine."

Alicia was about to ask Kalinda what had just happened, when a crimson drop fell on the petal of a lily from her flower bouquet half an inch away from her face, splashing the inside of the flower with smaller droplets. It was followed by another, and another. She didn't think she was injured though, and as far as she knew there was no reason for her to be bleeding. But the corollas next to her face kept being stained with more and more blood dripping from above. The truth suddenly hit her. "Oh my God Kalinda, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!" Alicia screamed, struggling to turn around and look at her.

"The guys are here, let's get you out of here _now_ Alicia," Kalinda answered just before rolling off her. Four men from her security team arrived onstage and put Alicia back up before surrounding her like a living shield and immediately extracting her from the stage, the room and the building in one swift move. She was just able to catch sight of Kalinda, half her face painted red by what seemed to be a profusely bleeding head wound. Alicia didn't even have time to open her mouth before being shoved into an armoured car and shipped away like a precious doll.

"For God's sake, will somebody tell me what just happened?" she demanded, shaken but trying her best not to burst into tears in front of her bodyguards. Before anyone could answer she added, "Is someone taking care of Kalinda? Make sure she's properly tended to. I want to visit her as soon as possible. I'm not leaving without her."

"Ma'am," one of the men said, "Somebody shot at you. We got the killer, she had a DIY plastic gun built with a 3-D printer and it backfired at the second shot. We're not sure yet how she passed the security checks, but we think she probably had accomplices. They must have brought separate parts in and put the gun together inside the room. We still have to find out how they sneaked the bullets in. The background checks are going to take a while but we'll get every last of these bastards. The police locked the perimeter as soon as they heard the gunshot – nobody got out."

"Was it that Christian extremist group again?" Alicia asked. The man nodded. Alicia's neck was sticky and she realized that some of Kalinda's blood had trickled on her, leaving a large stain on her blouse and jacket.

"What about Kalinda?" she asked. "Do you know how badly she's hurt?"

"She was the first to react, Ma'am," the man said with a distinct note of admiration in his voice. "We hadn't even heard the gunshot yet when she leaped onstage. Without her, you'd probably have a bullet in your head."

He talked into his earpiece for a few moments then added, "The paramedics say it's just a graze, Ma'am. She nearly took that bullet herself. She'll need a few stitches, but there's no sign of a major head trauma."

"Thank God," Alicia sighed. "Now turn that car around and drive me to her."


	11. Chapter 11

Kalinda was sitting on a stretcher in a hallway of the local ER. Half her head was covered in an impressive white dressing wrapped around it like a large headband. With her hair down, she looked ten years younger, lovelier than ever and terribly vulnerable. She was so tiny, sitting there by herself in her stained clothes. Alicia could feel a lump grow in her throat.

"It's not as serious as it looks," Kalinda stated before Alicia could say anything. "Since I wouldn't let them shave half my head to patch me up, they had a bit of trouble making sure the compress holds."

"Kalinda," said Alicia, upset, "You took a _bullet_ for me!"

"No I didn't," Kalinda said quietly. "It's just a few stitches."

Alicia was speechless. Kalinda's _head_ had been on the trajectory of a bullet shot to kill her, and she acted like it was nothing worth mentioning. She let out an aggravated sigh and without further warning, hugged her. Holding Kalinda tight in her arms, she could smell her spicy perfume and feel her warm body against her, a reassurance that Kalinda was definitely alive and (mostly) well.

"You saved my life _again_ , Kalinda," she said, her voice hoarse, "and it almost got you killed!" She wanted to say _don't do that ever again_ , but protecting people's lives was Kalinda's job. It seemed inappropriate to ask her to stop doing it. What right did Alicia have to tell her what to do?

"Don't worry Alicia," Kalinda said, gently pulling away. "The attack is going to attract a lot of media attention, but this time it's a good thing – you'll be more popular than ever."

Alicia hastily looked away to hide the tears welling up in her eyes. How could Kalinda think about her popularity in such a moment? "Oh, Kalinda," she whispered. "I'm going to miss you during your recovery."

"You won't," Kalinda assured her. "They said I needed to stay here for another twenty-four hour, just to make sure I don't have a concussion or internal bleeding. But after that, I'm good to go."

"Oh no you're not!" Alicia said in her most definitive First Lady voice. "This is all my fault to begin with, I overworked you. I'm staying here as long as you have to, and then I'm bringing you home. You'll get back to work _if_ and when Peter's doctor gives you the green light and not a minute sooner. Am I making myself clear?"

"Ma'am, yes Ma'am," Kalinda replied half-jokingly, looking a bit puzzled. "What do you mean, "home"?"

"The White House of course. It's big enough to accommodate you and there I can make sure you are taken care of properly. It's the least I can do."

Kalinda seemed baffled by the very idea and on the verge of arguing, but Alicia looked at her with pleading eyes belying her First Lady tone and took her hand in hers. They said nothing for a few moments.

"You do realize it's not your fault, right?" Kalinda finally whispered, putting her other hand on top of Alicia's. "These psychos tried to assassinate you _twice_. I just did my job keeping you safe. You didn't make me do anything I wasn't willing to. OK?"

"How could you possibly tell that somebody was going to shoot anyway?" Alicia dodged, fighting back a few tears. "Nobody had seen that coming except you, apparently. You were so quick to pull me down I didn't even hear the gunshot!"

"I was watching that woman from the wings," Kalinda explained. "Thought there was something weird about her. I saw her take out the gun. Sorry I didn't have time to warn you. I hope you didn't get too many bruises."

"I'm a complete mess," Alicia joked, showing her ruined suit stained with flower sap, pollen, and the blood from Kalinda's wound. "The flower bouquet softened the fall," she added. "Lucky me that thing was so huge!" Getting one of her hands back, she reached up to Kalinda's head dressing but let her hand hover next to it, not daring to touch her.

"How bad is it really?" she asked.

"Seven stitches," Kalinda admitted. "Believe me, I've had much worse. Plus I avoided the mullet haircut!"

Alicia did her best not to smile picturing Kalinda with half her long shiny black hair shaved off. "So, you're more the lipstick lesbian type then?" she teased.

Kalinda gazed at her, surprised by Alicia's boldness. "I guess I am," she said with a half-smile. "I'm like Samson, my strength lies in my hair!"

"I don't think so!" Alicia laughed openly this time. She was so relieved to know that Kalinda was mostly fine, she almost paid her a compliment on how strong and beautiful she was regardless of her hair. But it sounded much like flirting in her head, and even as she kept that thought to herself, she felt her cheeks blush. OK, this was becoming awkward and it was all her fault. She had to get a grip on herself.

"So," she said, getting up. "We need a few supplies if we are to make it through the next twenty-four hours in here. Are you allowed to eat and drink? What magazines can I get you?"

"You have a schedule Alicia! Plus all the media in the country are probably hot on your trail right now. You can't stay here with me!"

"Watch me," Alicia answered, unconcerned. That First Lady job had taken a high toll already, she could use a break. She took her phone and called her assistant.

"Courtney? I need to reschedule the next two days. _Now_."


	12. Chapter 12

"You're not afraid of ghosts, are you?" Alicia asked on the second floor stair landing of the Executive Residence. Kalinda gave her a half-smile.

"Depends whose," she answered tersely.

Alicia led her to a hall on the left and gestured her into a Victorian bedroom with a huge rosewood bed.

"What about President Lincoln's? Or so they say. I haven't had the privilege to meet him yet."

There were many stories going around about the Lincoln bedroom – actually, the Republican President's former office, now a guest room complete with its own sitting room and bath. Some people believed they had seen Lincoln's ghost watching outside from the window. Eleanor Roosevelt confessed that sometimes at night, when she was writing in that room, the feeling that someone was standing behind her was so strong she had to turn around and check. Ronald Reagan's dog would bark at the door but never come inside. Or so the legend went.

"Yeah, I'm familiar with the reputation," Kalinda sighed. A number of White House staff people were actually afraid of coming into that room, which didn't keep it from being a fairly popular bedroom, rented out on a regular basis to overnight outside guests for four hundred dollars a night when it didn't host some close friends of the President's family or foreign leaders.

Kalinda's luggage was already waiting for her in the room, but she was reluctant to get in and looked at her suitcase with an air of just wanting to grab it and run for it.

"President Lincoln is not going to be the problem here," Kalinda said, making a small disapproving face. "I'm perfectly fine, you know!"

"No you're not," Alicia pointed out. "You've got a bullet scratch on your head that's two inches long and barely healing yet. Consider it a well-deserved vacation! You can access the library, the bowling alley, the movie theatre, the swimming pool, anywhere you…"

"Alicia," Kalinda interrupted, "I should be _watching_ all these places for you! Let me go back to work, please!"

Kalinda still had a large dressing around her head. A week after the shooting – a week Alicia had insisted they stay put at the Governor's mansion until her stitches could be taken off – she was still not happy at all about the five week sick leave the President's doctor had ordered so that her scar would heal properly. But Alicia was glad Kalinda had to step off the line of fire, if only for a while.

"By the time I can come back, I'll be _replaced_!" Kalinda argued, disgruntled.

The First Lady shrugged. "Of course not! _You_ are my personal security detail, Kalinda." She was paying little attention to the secret services guy in a suit who was tagging her along for the time being. She didn't like the idea of Kalinda risking her life for her again, but she had no intention of replacing her for good. If Kalinda had to remain with the secret services and keep exposing herself anyway – which she seemed hell-bent on doing – Alicia would rather have her by her side than anyone else. But first, Kalinda had to accept being off duty long enough to recover properly.

"You are free to come and go as you please, of course," Alicia added. "You know the security drills. Just be there in time to meet the nurse."

The Lincoln bedroom was located on the west side of the Executive Residence, on the second floor, just across the Queen's bedroom, another guest room. But on the east side of that floor were also the President and First lady's apartments, and the President's family had priority use of the place at all times. Alicia had requisitioned the whole floor for the next four weeks so that Kalinda wouldn't be bothered by daily passwords and restricted areas along with various overnight guests during her stay.

"I don't get it," said Kalinda. "If you want me here, why not on the third floor?" It contained twenty mostly unoccupied rooms and more than enough bathrooms for one person.

Alicia raised her eyebrows at the very idea. "You _saved my life,_ Kalinda. I'm not going to send you all alone up there." The First Lady's own bedroom was just down the hall, as Kalinda was well aware. "But you can use the workout room if you want."

"Thanks but seriously, I don't _need_ all that time off!" Kalinda protested, "I don't even have a headache!"

"You'll go back to work in four weeks," Alicia answered in a final tone. "Until then, just relax and heal. Be nice or I won't visit you! Would you like a tour now?"

Kalinda raised an eyebrow. As a secret services agent, she knew the White House inside out, down to the last underground tunnel or hidden staircase. "Sure," she said agreeably, "if you have time, why not!"


	13. Chapter 13

Alicia ended the look around the White House with Kalinda by a stroll in Michelle Obama's vegetable garden.

"You do like your tomatoes, huh?" Kalinda smiled as they walked along rows of cherry tomatoes, yellow tomatoes, green tomatoes, beefsteak tomatoes and plum tomatoes.

"There was way too much lettuce in here before," Alicia smiled back. "I also had zucchini, bell peppers and celery sowed instead of all the spinach and broccoli. Nobody in the White House has complained about that change."

Michelle Obama, the former First Lady, had created that large vegetable garden so that her daughters would have a healthier diet, and each member of the family was supposed to contribute to it. The surplus was donated to charities. Alicia was not particularly fond of gardening herself and her children were gone, but she liked letting people at official dinners know that the vegetables were home grown – and organic – so she had the garden tended to, after adapting it to her and Peter's tastes.

Alicia particularly liked the herb garden. She crumpled a leave between two fingers every few steps to sniff the various perfumes of thyme, rosemary, sage, marjoram and basil, passing fragrant bits of foliage to Kalinda and commenting on the various dishes the White House chef used them for. Kalinda, falling back automatically into bodyguard mode, was watching intently their surroundings. As far as Alicia could tell, there was nothing or nobody unusual in sight.

Suddenly, Kalinda stopped short and showed her something fluttering in a nearby thyme bush. Grinning enthusiastically, she gestured Alicia to come closer. In her jeans, flat tennis shoes and ponytail, she looked like a teenager.

"Look! A Spring Azure." Perched on a thyme branch was a small butterfly. The inside of its wings was light blue with rows of dark spots around the edges, and the outside light grey.

"Really?" Alicia asked, surprised. It was the first time in her life she had ever known the specific name of a butterfly. She was aware that they did have names of course, but had never considered it something worth learning.

"Yes," Kalinda answered fondly as the butterfly opened and closed its wings, resting in the sun, "This one is a male. It's easy to tell because females have partly black forewings."

The butterfly shimmered in the sun for a few moments then took off in a blue flash and quickly flew out of sight, carried away by a gust of breeze.

"Seriously Kalinda," Alicia enquired, "are you going to tell me that you know the names of all the common butterflies?"

"Most of them," Kalinda admitted. "Most animals and plants, actually." She pointed at a few random trees and bugs and named them effortlessly (and correctly, as far as Alicia could tell).

"I wouldn't have taken you for the farm girl type," Alicia confessed.

"I'm not," Kalinda smiled. "City born and raised. It's just… I like being able to _name_ things accurately. A Spring Azure is not just any butterfly, and lemon thyme is not just thyme, see?"

Alicia had never seriously considered that point. If anyone had asked her one minute ago, she would have insisted that some things were just not worth the effort as they proved completely pointless in a political career. Yet Kalinda's stance reminded her that there was more to life than being stuck in sitting rooms and offices and courting voters and supporters all year round. Weren't there other important things that she had somehow forgotten along the way?

Alicia was suddenly distracted by some bug buzzing around her head, and jumped awkwardly sideways on the lawn in her heels, swinging her arms to make it go away. She remembered now why she preferred Nature tended to by someone else and safely far away from her.

"Don't," Kalinda said quietly, putting her hand on Alicia's forearm. "It's just a bee from your hives. It won't harm you unless you frighten it."

"Right," Alicia said, freezing the moment Kalinda touched her. Kalinda's hand was warm and soft on her arm and she resisted the urge to cover it with her own.

The bee dutifully made its way to the nearest flower bed, leaving Alicia unscathed, if annoyed with herself for behaving like a fool in front of Kalinda. How come she always seemed so strong, even when she was the one injured?

Trying to make up for her foolishness, Alicia asked, "About that, have you tasted the White House Honey Ale?" It was the home brewed beer created by Barack Obama with the honey from these very bees, and that Peter kept brewing for the White House guests.

"No, but I'd love to," Kalinda smiled.

"I have to go back now. Tomorrow at six in the East sitting hall?"

"Sure," Kalinda nodded.

"It's a date!"

Alicia turned around and went back to the First Lady's office in the East Wing, a bit confused by what she had just said and done. She had a date with Kalinda.


	14. Chapter 14

Of course, the date was not a _date_ date. Alicia knew that. She did. Yet somehow, after an hour or two of unwinding her daily frustrations to a half-mocking, half-sympathetic Kalinda, she ended up drinking too much of that treacherous honey ale and having her mind filled with completely inappropriate thoughts about her guest. Tipsy Alicia was reminded how terribly attracted she was to that woman, no matter how hard she tried to ignore that fact the rest of the time. She also genuinely _liked_ Kalinda, enough to spare her the embarrassment of having to deal with uncalled for advances one more time.

"Kalinda," she said, leaning dangerously toward her guest, "I think I need to lie down a little before I do something I shouldn't." After some laboured thinking, she added, "Would you take me to my bedroom, please?"

Kalinda frowned. "Hm. Better not let the guys see you like that. Come to my room, you won't have to cross the hall. Here, I'll help you."

The Lincoln bedroom had direct access to the East sitting room, there was only one door to cross to enter it.

"I'm perfectly able to walk by myself," protested Alicia, leaning heavily on Kalinda and putting her arm around her small shoulders. This was not taking advantage of her intoxication at all, she told herself. After all, no matter how much she wanted to put her arms around Kalinda's waist, bury her nose into her neck and feel her breasts pressed against hers, she didn't act on it. She was not _that_ drunk.

Kalinda led Alicia to the impressive rosewood bed topped with a huge golden crown holding purple satin and white lace curtains, and helped her out of her jacket. Alicia kicked off her heels and dozed off almost on the spot, curled up on the immaculate white satin bedspread.

When she woke up, disoriented by the unfamiliar surroundings, the room was darkening and Kalinda, sitting in a green brocade chair, was watching her intently from a small distance, a slight frown on her face.

"What?" Alicia asked, feeling self-conscious. She sat up and reached up sleepily to flatten her hair. Kalinda, looking puzzled, said nothing.

Alicia's mouth felt like cardboard. She got up to drink a bit of water in the bathroom and did her best to rinse her mouth. When she came back, Kalinda was still gazing at her, saying nothing.

"Kalinda, what's going on?" Alicia asked, padding barefoot to Kalinda's chair and looming urgently over her. "Was Lincoln's ghost hovering over me in my sleep or what?"

Kalinda hesitated for a few moments then said, "You spoke in your sleep, Alicia. You... Had a dream – "

"Is that so?" said Alicia, remembering nothing. "What about?"

"About me, I believe," confessed Kalinda, looking unsure of herself for once. After a while, she added, finally meeting Alicia's eyes, "It sounded like an erotic dream." Kalinda's eyes were huge, filled with something like hope and fear.

"Oh," said Alicia, frowning. Then it all came back to her in a flash. As the very explicit pictures filled her head and elicited a stir of desire in her gut, she flushed crimson.

"I'm sorry, Kalinda. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

Kalinda seemed desperate about something.

"Alicia," she said, "An hour ago, you were drunk and wanted to kiss me." She stood up, finding herself practically face to face with Alicia, although she had to raise her chin to look her in the eye. "What about now?"

Alicia considered the question the best she could with Kalinda standing so distractingly close to her that she could feel her breath tickling her neck. Of course this was how she felt _all the time_ since that first kiss. No matter how much denial she tried to snuff it with, the desire wouldn't go away. But it never seemed to be a mutual thing.

"I can't control my dreams," she admitted. "But I would never..."

Kalinda, crossing what little space was left between them, leant on Alicia's shoulders, stood on her tiptoes and silenced her with a kiss.

Kalinda's kiss was madly soft, yet eager and asking for more. Alicia kissed her back, her thoughts obscured by a massive rush of thrilling sensations. But on the verge of deepening the kiss, she pulled away.

"Are you sure?" she asked. Kalinda looked in awe, as if she couldn't believe this was actually happening.

"As long as you're sober," she answered breathlessly.

"I am," Alicia assured, pretending to walk an imaginary straight line on the carpeting and using her arms as a balance pole.

Coming back to Kalinda, she kissed her again. "You are the one making my head spin," she teased between kisses. She felt Kalinda smile against her mouth. As she nibbled at her bottom lip, Kalinda parted her lips and met her tongue eagerly. Alicia could feel her melt in her arms, yielding to her every move. Yet Kalinda never initiated anything, as if she wanted to let Alicia set the pace.

Alicia put her arms around Kalinda's waist and pulled her closer, letting out a moan at the feeling of her curvy body against hers. She tugged at Kalinda's blouse to slide her hands underneath it and feel the softness of her skin – then stopped once more. Slightly panting, she pulled away just enough so that she could look Kalinda in the eye.

"I want this, Kalinda," she said. "I have for a long time. But... Do you?"

Kalinda looked curiously vulnerable all of a sudden, like someone stunned by their wildest dreams come true. Skipping something she was going to say, she looked at her with open desire and answered softly, "Yes Alicia, I do. You have no idea how much." Then unbuttoning her own blouse, she let it slip on the carpet, and tightening Alicia's arms around her, kissed her fiercely.


	15. Chapter 15

Kalinda, still kissing Alicia, led her to the bed. Impatient to feel Kalinda's skin against hers, Alicia got rid of her own top and sent it flying across the room. She hovered for a moment over Kalinda, taking in her soft curves and sweet caramel skin before starting to kiss and caress every available inch of her. Alicia was still in her skirt and bra, Kalinda in her bra and jeans. To be honest, Alicia had no idea what she was doing, except it felt like the right thing to do. And feeling a thrill run through Kalinda, she was curiously moved by the effect she had on her. Kalinda, always so strong and so composed – finally unsettled. Being able to do that to her was incredibly intoxicating.

Alicia palmed Kalinda's breasts, eliciting a deep moan from her. Teasing one of her nipples with her thumb, she covered the other one with her mouth through Kalinda's bra and nibbled delicately at it. Kalinda groaned, arched her back and hitched Alicia's skirt up so that she could slide one of her thighs between hers. The first contact was electric, a jolt of pleasure so intense that Alicia almost cried out. Her arms gave up and she collapsed on top of Kalinda, overwhelmed by a whole new set of delicious feelings. Kalinda's thigh between her legs was making her completely lose track of what she was doing. She hadn't felt so maddeningly aroused for years.

Kalinda, taking advantage of Alicia's posture, slowly unhooked her bra, giving her time to object to it. Alicia didn't, and Kalinda stroked Alicia's bare back, making her shiver. She slid her bra straps down her arms with caressing fingers before pulling it off. Then she unzipped Alicia's skirt and her small hands stepped into the breach. Alicia moaned at the delightful feeling of Kalinda's fingertips on the small of her back.

The next thing she knew, Alicia was lying on her back wearing just her panties and Kalinda in her underwear was straddling her, looking very serious. "Alicia," she said softly, "Just let me know if you want me to stop – any time, OK?" Alicia nodded, blinded by a new rush of desire – Kalinda's wetness soaking through her underwear felt burning hot against her belly.

Kalinda unhooked her own bra and discarded it, then leaning forward, brushed her breasts over Alicia's. Alicia closed her eyes, pleasure flooding in, and grabbed Kalinda's lower back. But holding on to something was all she could do as Kalinda was very much in control right now, doing things to her that she would never even have imagined. It was mindblowing, as if she were everywhere at once. "Don't stop – "Alicia moaned, her hips bucking on their own accord, just before losing all coherent thought.

The intensity of her orgasm took her by surprise and she muffled it into Kalinda's shoulder, barely biting back cries loud enough to attract half the security staff in the place. Panting and sweating, her eyes closed and her brain slowly opening to the outside world again, she could feel Kalinda lying alongside her, one soothing hand still caressing her cooling body. When she opened her eyes, Kalinda was propped up on one elbow, gazing at her. She looked curiously shy.

"You are so beautiful," Alicia said dreamily, reaching up to touch her. Determined to resume her interrupted exploration of Kalinda's body, she felt her partner stiffen. She looked up with quizzical eyes. "Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry, I've never..."

"No, it's not that – but you don't have to, you know." Kalinda obviously wanted her to though, her pupils dilated with desire and her nipples hard under Alicia's palms. She could even smell the heady perfume of her arousal.

"But I want to," objected Alicia. Covering Kalinda's body with hers, she stopped short from kissing her and whispered, almost touching her mouth, "Should I go on?"

She felt more than she actually heard Kalinda's "yes," immediately followed by a scorching kiss that almost made her lose her focus. But she wanted Kalinda to get her faire share of pleasure too and did her best to reciprocate, tenderly wandering through the soft landscapes of her body. Kalinda was not vocal in bed, but after a little while, Alicia started attuning to her minute reactions, letting her sighs, quivers and stifled moans guide her hands and mouth on her.

It took time for Alicia to work up the courage to remove Kalinda's last piece of clothing - her panties. She finally slid them slowly down her smooth legs, and gazed at her, stunned by her naked beauty. Kalinda was looking at her with bare vulnerability and trust, her legs still closed, waiting for her to make the next move. Alicia took a deep breath and gently opened her, revelling in the softness of her inner thighs. She slid a hand between her legs and her breath hitched as Kalinda's hips bucked a little at her touch. She was so hot and wet, and touching her was at once strangely familiar – like touching herself – and entirely new. Only focusing on Kalinda's pleasure, Alicia could tell after a few minutes that she was close. She couldn't resist lapping at her experimentally, and that sent Kalinda over the top, clenching hard around her fingers.

After carefully stroking Kalinda through her orgasm, Alicia came back up, only then realizing how incredibly aroused she was again. Kalinda was flushed and quivering and gorgeous and Alicia quite proud of herself. Kalinda's eyes were closed, and Alicia lazily stretched out against her. But she almost immediately propped herself up, surprised. Kalinda was crying.


	16. Chapter 16

"Kalinda," said Alicia, worried, "What's wrong? Did I hurt you? Oh god, what did I do?"

But whatever had upset Kalinda, Alicia wouldn't know. Kalinda was already sitting up, smiling through her tears.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Alicia. It was perfect. I'm just not used to – "

Letting her sentence unfinished, she gave her a slow, deep kiss that instantly rekindled the lust burning in Alicia's gut. Alicia, still incredibly aroused by what she had just experienced, bit back a whimper, but Kalinda looked at her knowingly and took the reins back. Although she didn't hurry at all, sensually enjoying everything she did to Alicia, it was not long before she made her come a second time.

When Alicia opened her eyes this time, Kalinda, already dressed in a tank top and yoga pants, was watching her wistfully. She had gathered Alicia's discarded clothes on the edge of the bed.

"Have I overstayed my welcome?" Alicia joked, a bit puzzled.

"It's getting late, you should go back to your room before security comes knocking and you have to explain what you're still doing here," Kalinda said, making a regretful face.

It was a valid point. Alicia would have liked nothing more than spending the night here with Kalinda, but she couldn't deny she was right. Also, now that she came to think about it, she remembered only too well what Kalinda had told her the first time she had kissed her – not that she could ever forget it, but she had just chosen to put it aside the moment Kalinda had kissed her. She had said, "I could be fired for sleeping with you." Alicia didn't want that to happen, no more than she wanted another sex scandal at the White House. All this was _so_ scandal material.

"Too bad," she sighed, getting up, "I still had a few ideas..."

Kalinda smirked. "Maybe some other time." She looked a bit sceptical there would ever be such a time.

Alicia finished redressing. She zipped her skirt, which by luck was not too crumpled, put on her heels, and walked up to Kalinda.

"This is not over, Miss Sharma," she promised, looking her straight in the eye. "At least for me. The rest is up to you. I'll see you tomorrow if I can." She kissed her one last time on the lips, whispering, "Thank you!"

Kalinda reached out and fixed Alicia's hair. Her eyes were now full of too many emotions for Alicia to decipher. She was ready to leave, but suddenly remembered something and asked, "By the way, you didn't say earlier – what are you not used to?"

Kalinda playfully pretended to throw her out, leaving the question unanswered.

That night, after taking a long shower in her own bathroom and getting into her own bed, that now felt much too large, cold and lonely, Alicia found out that she couldn't sleep a wink. She couldn't help replaying that evening over and over in her mind, wondering if it was only a one-time thing. Was Kalinda already tired of her? Would she be too afraid to lose her job to see her again, even if she wanted to? Alicia had told the truth – for her, this was just the beginning of something. But did Kalinda feel the same? And if she didn't, would that ruin their friendship?

Wide awake, Alicia tossed and turned until sunrise, half-exhilarated, half-worried. It never crossed her mind that night that she had finally gotten her revenge on Peter.


	17. Chapter 17

Kalinda was right about one thing – the attacks during her last trip had made Alicia more popular than she had ever been, and the comments on the assassination attempts were gradually replacing those on her cheating husband and lack of self-esteem. The news, cleverly spun by Eli Gold, also served Peter, whose party was polling up for the first time since the beginning of the campaign.

The other side of the coin was that Alicia didn't have a minute to herself. She was dying to meet Kalinda again, but the first time she tried to visit her Kalinda was away, and the following days it was obscenely late before she could even think about catching her breath. Five days passed and out of desperation Alicia had her assistant make an appointment with Kalinda and clear her schedule accordingly for the next morning. She could afford to take one hour to catch up with a friend over breakfast, right?

Alicia had ordered their breakfast to be served in the third-floor solarium, and when she arrived Kalinda was already there, strolling along the promenade, a large balcony just outside the room, hidden from view by a massive balustrade. She was not wearing her uniform clothes but neither was she casually dressed, in a tight black mini-skirt, beautiful blue silk blouse, stiletto boots and a leather jacket that looked surprisingly good on her. Since she didn't need a dressing around her head wound anymore, her up-do was back in place, and her eyes hidden behind huge sunglasses. More than ever she looked terribly exotic, and also... Remote?

"Hi Kalinda," said Alicia. "I'm sorry I couldn't get to see you sooner. How are you?"

Alicia's hand hovered next to Kalinda's scar, now invisible under her thick dark hair, then she hugged her, revelling in her warmth. She had missed her spicy perfume, the sound of her boots firmly clicking, her calm, ironic voice – she had missed _her_.

"Fine," Kalinda answered with a small sigh. "This sick leave is _way_ too long. I might have to get a hobby."

Alicia knew for a fact that the balustrade was hiding them from prying eyes and she was dying to kiss her. But Kalinda seemed a bit stiff in her arms, and she didn't dare pushing things any further. Releasing her with a sigh of her own, she gestured to the breakfast table. "Shall we?"

The breakfast was pleasant enough, but as Kalinda, her sunglasses now off, was still gazing at her with unreadable eyes, making polite (although entertaining) small talk, Alicia's mood was darkening by the minute. No – no, no, no, she wasn't going to explode and make a scene. After all, it was Kalinda's right not to want her anymore, and objectively, they were both jeopardizing their jobs with that relationship. She still really wanted to yell at her right now. She felt like a teenager being dumped for the first time.

Alicia carefully put her cutlery down, resisting the urge to send it flying, and said, "All right, if you don't want me to touch you anymore, tell me now, because it's all I've been thinking about for these last five days." Hearing her own voice shake a little, she didn't have the nerve to look at Kalinda and stared at her unfinished Western omelette, hating herself for letting her emotions show. One moment later, Kalinda's hand took hers and pulled her up. Kalinda was smiling. She softly cupped Alicia's face and looked her in the eye before giving her the sweetest kiss. Alicia could finally read something in her eyes – relief.

"Silly," she said, her lips against Alicia's ear and her hands already all over her, "After five days, I was afraid _you_ had changed your mind."

There was a sofa in the solarium – most of their clothes were already littering the room by the time they finally reached it.


	18. Chapter 18

Alicia couldn't remember the last time she had felt so happy. Humming to herself in the underground passage leading her back from the swimming pool to the West Wing, she thought that there were some definite perks to falling for a secret services agent who knew each and every hidden and private place in the White House. When Alicia was not in public meetings, half of the time the poor agent guarding her door didn't have a clue where the First Lady really was. Kalinda had a real talent for spicing things up with secret meetings in the most unusual places at the most improbable times.

And that was a good thing indeed since regardless of how tedious and humiliating it was to always have to hide, their affair was such a risky business for both of them that it had to remain as much as possible in the closet – _literally_ in the closet, Alicia smirked, the irony not lost on her as she remembered some of the odd places where she and Kalinda had met these last few weeks. The White House had very large walk-in closets and a vast number of storage rooms – one might as well put them to good use after all.

Striding happily back to the West Wing with a definite spring in her step, her hair still wet and curly from the pool and her head light from the shower sex that had just taken place in the pool cabana after bathing, Alicia realized that she felt twenty years younger. As the First Lady, she was successful but hardly a person anymore. As Kalinda's lover, she finally felt like a woman again. She had a sex life which was honestly so amazing that it could only compare to her honeymoon phase with Peter ages ago, a time she thought she would never get to experience again, least of all with a (younger) woman.

Kalinda also offered her an emotional life that gave her unsuspected new strength. With her, Alicia felt wanted, supported and capable of anything. Being older than her partner never seemed to matter at all. Kalinda was not only her lover but her best friend, and if being so close to another woman was an entirely new experience to Alicia, a bit unsettling at times so easy the deep connection was between them, it was an endless source of warmth and confidence to her. Kalinda was there for her. She hadn't felt so alive in a very long time.

Alicia wondered what things would be like now that Kalinda's sick leave was coming to an end. She was looking forward to having her officially back as her bodyguard by her side all day long, but she suspected that Kalinda on duty might be impossible to distract (which was a good thing as far as her safety was concerned, even if less fun), and Alicia worried that after leaving the Lincoln bedroom, not only most of their sexy times, but also most of their unscripted one to one intimate moments would be over. Alicia had to admit that Kalinda's enthusiasm showed no sign of weakening so far though.

 _Kalinda never stops surprising me. She's so private, yet she always knows how to make me act like the best version of myself. She's so_ _incredibly good in bed. And the way she looks at me sometimes_ – Alicia abruptly stopped walking as the truth hit her. Sometimes Kalinda looked at her like she was the most precious thing in the whole universe, the very best thing that had ever happened to her, and it made Alicia feel so lucky and special. Why hadn't she recognized it before? It was the look of love. _Oh my god_. At this point Alicia had no doubt she was hopelessly in love with Kalinda herself. _This is how I must look at her too when I don't watch myself._

Suddenly, thinking about Kalinda by her side all day long under the public eye again made Alicia feel a pang of anxiety. She was an expert at hiding her real feelings to the outside world and so was Kalinda, but could really that much happiness and obvious chemistry between them remain hidden without some of it unconsciously seeping through? Could she be positive she would never publicly glance at Kalinda with those adoring eyes she had seen reflected a lot these days on her lover's face? Now was so _not_ the time – not with the Democratic party on the verge of winning the midterm elections by a narrow margin in spite of their rocky campaign start. The slightest hint of a new scandal would be the end of Peter's majority in Congress and of his effective term.

The sensible person in Alicia knew what to do – keep Kalinda safely away from her and the public eye, at least for the time being. Her identity hadn't been made public but Kalinda was now a hero and no one in her hierarchy would object to her being promoted to some well-deserved less exposed job. Yet Alicia couldn't bear the thought of not seeing her every day, not hearing her voice whisper her name in that unique way she had, not sensing her presence just behind her, so close that she could smell her perfume – so close that only her bodyguard job could justify such a constant public invasion of her personal space.

Alicia wanted Kalinda and nobody else to be there right next to her. She had to focus harder and not let anything filter out under any circumstances. Both their personal lives, careers, and the next two political years depended on it. It was so strange that for once what she had to hide was how happy she felt.

Sneaking back into her office undetected, Alicia cracked the front door open, intending to remind her current security detail (whose name she kept forgetting for some reason) that she was about to leave for a meeting. Her bodyguard was busy chatting with Andrew Wiley, an investigator working for Eli Gold. Hearing Kalinda's name, Alicia stopped to eavesdrop in spite of herself.

"Yeah," her bodyguard was saying, "Sharma's coming back next week and I'll have a few days off. I suppose not all of us can be so lucky as to spend them free of charge in the Lincoln room, huh?"

"I've heard that Sharma girl knows how to get on the good side of VIPs all right," said Wiley pensively. "Is that true what they say about her and the President?"

"Rumor has it – but man, she's so _not_ like his other girls! When Florrick moved into the White House and insisted that she join his security team, we took bets that she was another of his bimbos. Tiny as she is, we would never have taken her in," Alicia's bodyguard said affectionately. "We all thought she would prove as useless as the others – you know how many he secured a position for, right? But Sharma proved us all wrong – turns out she's really good on the field. I guess she had her reasons for doing what she did."

"I wonder how come the media never heard of all that," Wiley said.

"As if Florrick was the first one! You wouldn't believe me if I told you everything I've seen. Besides, only one girl so far couldn't keep her mouth shut, right?" the bodyguard replied. "We like Sharma you know. She's a good agent and she's loyal. We don't want her to take the fall because her former boss can't keep it in his pants."

"Her _current_ boss," corrected Andrew. "And yours."

Alicia, her hand still on the door handle, was standing motionless, stunned.

Kalinda. The woman she had fallen in love with. Had probably slept with her husband. And everybody in the White House seemed to know it but Alicia.


	19. Chapter 19

"You slept with my husband," Alicia accused in an icy tone, struggling hard not to yell.

Kalinda seemed struck by lightning and didn't try to deny it. She was brave enough not to avoid her eyes, looking so terribly sorry that it might have made a difference, had not Alicia been so incensed that she was completely unable to register that fact. It was one thing to suspect that Peter probably had mistresses, and another entirely to realize that Kalinda of all people was one of them. The fact that Kalinda had slept with her too afterwards didn't make things any better to Alicia. If anything, it only made them worse actually, since she couldn't help revisiting her whole relationship with Kalinda in that new light and doubting one honest word had ever crossed her presumed friend's lips during all that time.

Alicia felt nauseous at the thought of having slept with one of Peter's whores. O the irony of believing she had gotten her revenge on him by sleeping with what turned out to be one of his women! Whatever reasons Kalinda had for sleeping with _that_ married man, Alicia didn't even want to know. How could Kalinda not tell her? How could she think _that_ fact was not worth mentioning? (Was she afraid Alicia would never forgive her? Alicia refused to consider the question and held on to her righteous wrath.) Wrapped up in her misery and self-hatred for making a fool of herself, Alicia hated Kalinda with a passion. She knew it was petty and childish, but she couldn't help looking icily through her like she was invisible. Kalinda was dead to her.

Kalinda, the unflappable woman, always so strong and impossible to catch off-guard, was unexpectedly bad at standing for herself this time. It almost surprised Alicia. She just stood frozen in place, her liquid dark eyes huge and full of regret, saying nothing and looking utterly sorry, as if there was nothing she could say or do to earn her forgiveness – as if she agreed she didn't deserve better. Whatever Alicia's verdict was, she just waited for it, not fighting it.

But since Alicia, too upset to even look at her, said nothing more, Kalinda finally spoke a few words.

"I do that Alicia," she said weakly, as if she was sure nothing she could say could ever make her understand, "I sleep with people sometimes."

She said nothing for a few moments then added tentatively, "I told you – I'm not used to..."

"Used to WHAT for God's sake?!" Alicia all but yelled, now mad at Kalinda for not even _trying_ to make things better.

"Making love," Kalinda whispered, her eyes begging her to understand.

Alicia was also mad at herself for wanting Kalinda to come up with some sort of decent explanation even if she was obviously not ready to hear any of it, that's why she didn't hear what Kalinda was actually confessing. All she could think about was Kalinda lying to her face while she was sleeping with her. Hopping for some reason from the President's bed to the First Lady's. What did she expect to get out of this? Was it some devious game?

Alicia knew only one thing. Her best friend had betrayed her and slept with her husband. There was nothing left to say. She felt her heart turn into stone, as hard and blank as her face when she said, her voice vibrant with cold rage, "Get out or I swear I'll scream at the top of my lungs."

For once Kalinda's face was an open book, and her eyes, huge and desperate, were filled with pain. She fumbled a little to open the door, but never said a word and left the room quietly.

 _She didn't even try to fight this_ , Alicia thought, more incensed than ever, hot tears finally rolling down her cheeks. _She didn't even cry._ Of course – Kalinda never cried.

Kalinda who never cried broke down as soon as she was out of sight and burst into tears in the elevator.

Two days later, as agent Sharma was finally given the green light to go back to work, on Alicia's request she was assigned on a new mission. At the UN headquarters in New York. Kalinda left immediately.


	20. Chapter 20

Alicia couldn't sleep. Tired of tossing and turning, she switched on the lamp on her night stand and tried to read, but kept re-reading the same sentences without making sense of them. Sighing, she got up and paced her bedroom's carpeted floor, wondering where she could go that would not remind her of things she'd rather forget. She had gotten rid of Kalinda easily, but not of all the memories that went with her – and there were memories of her lurking almost everywhere in the White House, from the basement floor to the outside grounds – including her own bedroom of course, although Lincoln's ghost had definitely seen a lot more.

She remembered one time Kalinda and she had made love in that bed – in _her_ bed. She had carefully undone Kalinda's up-do, removing one by one the hairpins that kept her hair so neatly in place, and Kalinda had let her, looking lovelier by the minute. With her hair down, Kalinda looked so young and vulnerable that it broke Alicia's heart. Kalinda usually had sex without letting her hair down, and doing it was like taking the very last piece of her armour off her – like seeing her really naked for the very first time. It was terribly erotic. Alicia loved that Kalinda allowed her to do that. And she loved more the feeling of Kalinda's long silky hair gliding along her body when they made love. Thinking back on it, a thrill ran through her like the ghost of a caress.

Except that Alicia didn't _want_ to remember all that. Not how great Kalinda was to help her cope with her First Lady duties and the pressure that went with the job; not how good it felt to know that Kalinda always had her back no matter what; not how she had saved her life, almost getting killed in the process – and particularly not how as it turned out they had never had sex but definitely made love. She just wanted those memories to vanish from her mind and leave her alone. She worked hard to keep herself busy all day and avoid having alone time with her own thoughts. She told herself it was a good thing Kalinda was away and they would never have to meet again. She was _glad_ Kalinda was gone for good. But at night, the lurking memories sneaked back uninvited and filled her head the moment sheer tiredness made her drop her mental guard, and she couldn't sleep.

Alicia was exhausted. Sometimes she took sleeping pills to try and have a good night's rest, but the pills made her feel groggy and not well-rested at all. She hadn't slept soundly for a whole night in months. If she had felt twenty years younger just a little while ago, there was no doubt she now felt twenty years older. And yet, so little had changed in her life. She was still the First Lady, right where she wanted to be, working hard to make a difference, and it was time to focus solely on her achievements. It was crazy to believe that she could have it all in the first place, wasn't it? She should never have indulged in such a fantasy – but now she knew better, and at least she didn't have to worry about looking too radiant. She was all business – perfectly civil, extra-efficient, always on top of things – but she hadn't had a genuine smile in months. What Alicia wanted had become irrelevant – only the First Lady mattered.

The breaking point was reached during New Year's Eve party, the year before the elections. Of course Peter wanted to run for President again and be re-elected. In order to do so, he needed his troops ready for battle right behind him. But Alicia was tired of being a good wife, of playing the good little soldier and toiling in the shadow of the great man, of always having to be perfect for both of them – for _his_ sake. With all she knew about him, it would only take one interview to bring him down.

"I want to run for Senator, Peter" she stated.

Peter quickly processed the news, puzzled. "What? I mean, of course Alicia – no problem, you will – as soon as my second term is over, like Hillary did in her time."

"No," Alicia said quietly. They were standing in the middle of the New Year's Eve party. Peter couldn't raise his voice. They couldn't look like they were arguing. "I'm not waiting for five more years to get my own career. I'm running at the New York primaries next month."

Peter seemed stunned. "But Alicia," he argued with a forced smile, carefully keeping his voice down, "You're the First Lady! _That_ 's your career! Isn't that enough? And what about _my_ campaign? It takes place at the exact same time!"

"Well if you're re-elected, having one more Democratic senator in your corner won't hurt, right? Being First Lady is not enough, not anymore, because it's all about _you_. I need this, Peter. And I'm through always putting _your_ needs first. I'm sure people will understand that we can be married and still have our separate careers. Unless you'd rather get a divorce?"

Peter's jaw fell. "A divorce?" he stuttered, nearly dropping his champagne flute. "For God's sake Alicia, where is this coming from?"

"Oh, I don't know Peter," Alicia answered coldly. "Could it be that blond bimbo that you hired to be your campaign manager, what's her name again – _Marilyn_ , seriously?" Now anger was creeping back into her tone. "Or maybe it's because you _slept with my best friend_."

"Wait!" Peter interjected, now completely at a loss. "What? Who?!"

"You can't even figure out which one it was, right?" Alicia pointed out, disgusted. Just before turning her back on him, she made a show of whispering in his ear, as sweetly as if she were feeding him loving words, "Don't worry, we're even. I slept with her too!"

 _Now_ she had her revenge.


	21. Chapter 21

Alicia and Peter made a deal. She would support him during the Presidential campaign while running for Senator, and after the elections they would file for a no-fault divorce by mutual consent, thus keeping the scandal to a minimum. Eli Gold believed that once Peter was re-elected there was nothing anyone could do to keep him from serving his term, even if not having a First Lady in the White House was quite unusual. There had previously been two unmarried Presidents after all (even if James Buchanan was probably gay) and who in the US could still boast about having been married only once nowadays?

Alicia honestly couldn't care less. In February, she rented an apartment in Manhattan and moved to New York to run her own campaign. One year, two months and three days had passed since the last time she had seen Kalinda. Alicia was now fully in charge of her own life again. She was no longer mad at Kalinda – and hadn't stopped thinking about her. She wondered if Kalinda had moved on with her life. Neither of them had tried to contact the other since the day Alicia had thrown her out of her office. Yet Alicia had never deleted Kalinda's number from her phone.

Taking a step back, Alicia realized that she had been mostly mad at herself for burying her head in the sand when it came to Peter, his sex life, and the anger and humiliation that were in it for her. She was also insanely jealous, even in retrospect, at the thought of _Kalinda_ sleeping with Peter, and not the other way around. She was better off without Peter, but was she without Kalinda? Now that she didn't have to be the First Lady at all costs, she sometimes thought that she had been unfair to her. Kalinda had given her a lot and never asked a single thing in return. She had let Alicia come closer to her and see her more exposed than she had let anyone. She had cried when Alicia had given back some of her love and tenderness. And she had left without a word when she could easily have ended both Peter and Alicia's careers.

Alicia was also aware that what she had with Kalinda – an intimate, deeply satisfying and mutual relationship – couldn't compare to what Kalinda had probably shared with Peter, long before she even met her. Yet Alicia had simply discarded their whole patiently woven relationship, refusing to admit that she was partly responsible for letting such things happen within her own marriage in the first place. She had torn their connection apart so violently – was there anything left to salvage? Alicia had to make sure, if only for closure.

She wondered if Kalinda's phone number was still the same. She could only hope so. Not daring to call her, she texted her and offered a drink at a bar nearby the UN building where Kalinda was working. About to press "send", she suddenly felt like a nervous teenager all over again, her hands sweaty and fumbling and her heart threatening to beat out of her chest. Would Kalinda even bother answering? She sent the message anyway. Her heartbeat was not back to normal yet when her phone dinged again. "OK," Kalinda had replied, "Meet you there at 9."


	22. Chapter 22

Alicia was early and nervous as hell. She had spent two hours trying to figure out what to wear. There was no way the First Lady could spend one hour in a public place without ending up being recognized. She couldn't go without a whole security team either. So in order to make it through the door without people staring and pointing and exclaiming and wanting to take selfies with her, or insulting her and her family and wanting her dead, or taking pictures and recording videos that would be posted online before she could do anything about it, she tried her best not to look like her usual public self.

It was really not her first choice when it came to meeting Kalinda again after all this time, but just to be on the safe side, she opted for her own (posh) version of dress down clothes, of the kind no media had ever spotted her wearing – a polo shirt and blue jeans, her unstraightened hair curling freely in a ponytail and her face hidden under a baseball cap. It was enough to let her get to a private room inside the bar without attracting any attention. The place was discretely but heavily watched by her security staff. All she had to do now was wait for Kalinda to arrive. She took off her cap but didn't untie her hair – the ponytail was oddly relevant to the rest of her outfit. The appeal of it all was debatable, but at least she couldn't look less like the First Lady who had coldly dismissed Kalinda more than a year ago.

She got lost in thought for a moment and then suddenly Kalinda was here, standing in the door frame, looking just like she remembered her, in a red leather jacket, black miniskirt and high-heeled boots, her shiny hair as always in a perfect up-do. She was lovely. As she sat next to her and took off her huge sunglasses, a whiff of her perfume floated up to Alicia, bringing back bitter-sweet memories.

"Hi Alicia," Kalinda said pleasantly, offering her best poker face. "Long time no see. Nice outfit."

Alicia, so busy gazing at her that she forgot to say anything, vaguely gestured at the tequila shots waiting in front of them. What could she say, really? _You look fine_. She did, and it hurt somehow. _You've been doing well without me_.

"You've been doing well," Kalinda echoed with a small smile, as if reading her mind. "Polling first, congrats. Should we drink to the future Honorable Florrick, Senator of New York?"

"You knew that?" Alicia noted, surprised. "You've kept yourself informed!"

"You're the First Lady, Alicia," Kalinda smiled. "It's not that hard."

She had a point.

Alicia opened her mouth to make polite small talk and said, "I'm so sorry, Kalinda."

Kalinda gazed back at her, surprised. She didn't try to pretend she had no idea what this was about. "I never meant to hurt you," she whispered, holding her gaze.

"I know," Alicia answered softly, covering Kalinda's small hand on the table with hers. "I figured that much eventually. After I sent you away."

The chemistry was still there between them, immediate and obvious. Alicia could feel her own skin tickle as Kalinda's goosebumped at her touch.

Kalinda didn't remove her hand. She said nothing, her face unreadable again. Alicia resisted the urge to stroke the back of her hand with her thumb. Not here. Not now, when she wanted so badly to kiss her. She braced herself and asked, "Will you come back? Please?"

Kalinda looked bemused. "Come back where Alicia? What for? You don't need me as a bodyguard, you have..." She pointed to the closed door and the invisible square-shouldered agent who was keeping watch outside.

"I miss you, Kalinda. Come back into my life. As anything you want."

Kalinda gazed at her for a few moments then said softly, "I don't know about that, Alicia. I don't like being in the closet." She smirked. "Even closets as big and fancy as yours. I'm not ashamed of who I am. And I'm through with being people's dirty little secret."

"Peter and I are getting a divorce," Alicia whispered, squeezing Kalinda's hand in spite of herself.

"Really?" Kalinda sounded genuinely surprised. "In the middle of the campaign?"

"No," Alicia admitted, sheepishly withdrawing her hand. "After the elections. Whatever happens, we'll go our separate ways from there."

"You're not planning to come out before the elections, right?" Kalinda pointed out. "I guess I should go then."

Alicia's heart sank. Were those damn elections worth it? She put her hand on Kalinda's forearm to keep her from getting up.

"Kalinda," she said, going all in. "I love you. You make me happy and I want you by my side. I want you to be my partner in every possible way. Now if this is not what you feel, just tell me and I won't bother you anymore."

Kalinda shook her head, looking more confused than she had ever seen her.

"Don't you know I love you, Alicia?" she whispered, gazing at her with that familiar expression on her face. "But I can't be around you right now. I've done enough harm already – I won't be the one who costs you your career."

She got up, hesitant. "If you're still serious about this after the election, give me a call."


	23. Chapter 23

Alicia was sipping her coffee after a sleepless night, absent-mindedly browsing the newspapers. She finally made up her mind, took her cell phone and called Eli Gold, who supervised her campaign on top of Peter's to make sure she didn't do anything that might jeopardize his re-election. "Eli, I need your help to prepare a press release," she announced. "I'm coming out as a lesbian." Over the phone, she could distinctly hear Gold splutter whatever he was drinking. After a moment of coughing and clearing his throat, he exclaimed, his voice comically full of dismay, "For God's sake Alicia! Why didn't you run for _California_ then?"

After the press release, the fuss over the breaking news was considerable but Eli did his best to spin it so it cast a positive light on the two candidates. The presidential couple was getting a divorce – yes, in the middle of the presidential _and_ senatorial campaign – because Mrs Florrick had gradually realized that she was attracted to women, and the attempt made on her life helped her recognize that it was time to be true to herself in the pursuit of happiness which was a constitutional right for every American citizen. Since she didn't deny also liking men, she ran as openly bisexual (not even being the first candidate to do so) with a manifesto supporting women and minority rights. The scandal gave Peter the opportunity to appear as a supportive husband for a change, ready to let go his beloved spouse of twenty-five years so that she could be happy with someone else – with a woman if she was so inclined. It was hard to beat on the liberal front, and somewhat helped restoring his tarnished image.

Alicia admitted to having harboured romantic feelings for another woman, making her realize that she was also attracted to people of her own sex, but she firmly denied being in a relationship right now, not as long as she was still married, and explained that she was precisely getting a divorce so that she could move on freely and honestly with her life. Alicia's coming out got tremendous media coverage but the press hadn't seen that one coming and didn't have a clue as to who the "trigger woman" might be, in spite of various speculations that Alicia found extremely entertaining, mostly inspired by the vast number of singers and actresses that the First Lady had officially met these past three years. The White House closets were well guarded though and Kalinda, unknown and unsuspected, was left out of it.

"Well," Alicia sighed, throwing the last poll results on her desk, "So much for being honest in politics and telling the truth."After teetering for a while, she was plummeting, clearly losing to her Republican opponent who could boast about having a faithful wife, three young children and a firm belief in the sanctity of traditional family values. Defeat loomed. Alicia looked at her campaign manager, who seemed at a loss for words. "Any ideas?"

He came into her office three days later looking excited, enthusiastically waving a large envelope. "You have to see this!" he exclaimed. The envelope had been anonymously delivered to her campaign headquarters. It was a very well documented file, containing evidence (including DNA test results) that Alicia's Republican opponent was the father of two illegitimate children from different mothers. Both women were under thirty of age, and both received monthly bank transfers from an offshore account. Both children were born during the candidate's current (and only) marriage.

Alicia didn't hesitate much. "I'm not losing that election to such a hypocrite," she said. "We're using this."

Sure enough, the breaking news changed the face of the campaign again. Alicia's opponent had a hard time explaining away his polygamist view of traditional family values as the media eagerly hunted down his illegitimate kids and his official wife and children were nowhere to be seen. Alicia went up in the polls again.

As a Democratic candidate to the Senate, Alicia kept loyally supporting Peter and attending his meetings to make up for dropping the divorce bomb at such an inconvenient time. Her career as a Senator would definitely have a better start if Peter remained at the White House anyway. As a woman, Alicia felt lonelier than ever. The divorce did offer her an opportunity to move on. But she couldn't really do so – not yet – not as long as there was a chance that Kalinda might still want her. Yet Alicia never called her, and neither did Kalinda.


	24. Chapter 24

After a nerve-racking campaign, November was finally there, and with it Election day. Alicia's victory was still far from certain, and counting the ballots seemed to take forever. But by the end of the day, Alicia's campaign headquarters burst into cheers and champagne bottles popped to celebrate her election.

The counting was not over for the Presidential election and Peter's victory had yet to be confirmed. It was not a sure thing either – his philandering and untrustworthy behaviour were not forgotten, and he seemed to be neck and neck with his Republican opponent. But right now Alicia was mildly concerned about this. After meeting the journalists one last time that day to comment on her final victory, she left her headquarters' party early.

The politician in her was satisfied. She had earned a place in American history – on her own terms this time. She would worry later about Peter possibly being a lame duck and what it meant for her as a newly-elected Senator. For now all she wanted was some alone time to take a long bath and muster the courage to call Kalinda. What if she had stopped being interested in her? Nine more months had passed. They had been apart for almost two years. It was a really long time for someone as attractive as Kalinda, who had people falling for her wherever she went.

As it turned out, Alicia didn't need to call. When she came back to her apartment, Kalinda was standing on her landing, waiting for her, her hands in the pockets of her black raincoat. The building's front door was watched and protected by a secure entry system, but that was obviously nothing agent Sharma couldn't handle. She apparently hadn't decided to wait for Alicia in her own living-room though.

As soon as she saw her, Kalinda grinned broadly.

"Senator Florrick! What a campaign – full of unexpected twists!"

"Kalinda!" exclaimed Alicia, "Were you going to wait for me all night?"

Kalinda said nothing but her eyes definitely answered "yes."

"About twists," Alicia enquired, "I assume you had nothing to do with the tip sent to my campaign headquarters that proved to be the key to my election?"

Kalinda shrugged. "Course not. I'd never dig dirt on a respectable politician and devoted husband. Or break into his house to get DNA from his toothbrush. It's illegal."

Alicia resisted the urge to hug her. "You really did that for _me_?" she whispered, her heart suddenly swelling in her chest. Kalinda just kept smiling happily. She sure didn't look like someone who had come to end things with her. Alicia unlocked her apartment's door. Whatever was to happen next might as well happen inside. "Come in," she said softly.

Kalinda entered, deliberately brushing past her, and undid her raincoat belt in such an evocative way that Alicia's heart skipped a beat. "So, rumor has it that you're into women now. Is that true, Senator?" she asked, her voice mischievous.

"Well," Alicia smiled, "A lady I really wish would date me told me once that she couldn't live in the closet."

"You really did that for _me_?" Kalinda echoed, her voice now serious. She let her raincoat pool on the floor and stepped closer. Why did the damn woman look like she was stripping in front of her? Alicia's brain was on the verge of short-circuiting at the very thought. It had taken them so long to get there.

"I did it for _me_ ," she corrected. "If I'm so lucky as to have you back into my life, there's no way I'm ever hiding how happy this makes me."

Kalinda was practically face to face with her. Her familiar perfume went right to Alicia's heart and she had to fight back a surge of emotions. Leaning slightly to brush Kalinda's lips, she whispered against her mouth, her voice just a bit hoarse, "Would you date a State Senator, agent Sharma?"

"Sure," Kalinda said agreeably, kissing her at last.

*** THE END ***


End file.
